26.1.06

In the Shadow of Glory, or Something like That

Berlin Online has quoted my friend on the issue of Ahmadinejad's recent anti-Israeli statements. Read it. That is all.

posted by vesna @ 19:51 0 comments

24.1.06

Lechia, Lechistan: Potato, Po Tah Toe

I have known for some time now that Poland is referred to as Lechistan (pronounced Leh i stan) in several Middle Eastern countries and Turkey. Apparently this also holds true for certain Central Asian countries as well.
Nevertheless, imagine my surprise when my best friend called, inquiring as to when the Ottoman Empire had ended its rule of Poland. This, as you should be aware, is not because she has cabbage for brains. Rather, she called in order to have me explain to her friend that Poland had never been subject to Ottoman Rule (Jan III Sobieski anyone?). His rationale appeared to have been that since Poland's historical name was Lechistan, it had to have been because the Ottomans had made it that far north. He must be an absolutely brilliant chap, I am sure.

posted by vesna @ 20:14 0 comments

Natural Law

In Conflicts of Law, we were discussing the outdated nature of the First Restatement as regards to marriage. To put it concisely, it basically describes inter-racial marriage as odious and against natural law. Hoping to incite a lively discussion, our professor posed the question of what types of marriage might be considered to be against natural law both in that time period and today. Without hesitation and in a clear, excited voice, a classmate called out, "Man and Beast". Now, while I laughed heartily when this was said, I am now afflicted with the memory every time I enter that classroom.
Oh, but he really did love Erma. Her matted fleece was always so warm to the touch...if only the state had legally allowed them to proclaim their union.

posted by vesna @ 20:07 0 comments

23.1.06

Chuck Norris

Time to end this debate on evolution and intelligent design. We all know they are both complete bollocks. "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live." And lest you think I am earth-centric, allow me to assure you that, "outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris".
If you too should happen to desire to unravel earth's mysteries, I assure you that learning Chuck Norris facts will help you achieve that laudable goal.
*Disclaimer: I believe that Chuck Norris is evolution. Anyone who believes in intelligent design should be roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris. Into the 1400's.

posted by vesna @ 08:57 0 comments

Positively Bond

It appears that Russia is still the centre o' espionage, just not its own in this case. Glory be, it allegedly even includes a high tech rock.

posted by vesna @ 08:53 2 comments

22.1.06

ALF

Having allowed an ECHR classmate of mine to listen to the glory that is Polish gypsy music, I was met with the question of whether I knew and liked Alf. Naturally, I do. In fact, I can't imagine the heartless soul who would dare spit on our 1980's extraterrestrial friend. The problem was, however, that I was born in the 1980's, and didn't go to the US until 1986. Hence, my memories of the actual content of individual episodes is what one might call "lacking". Shameful, indeed. As a result, I had no recollection of the episode to which he was referring. Apparently, at one time, Alf had become completely enthralled by a certain Polka, and proceeded to request it so often from a particular radio station that it became a number one hit.
Now let's look at the score here. This person associates my country with hitmen, drunks (fair enough), Alf and polkas (okay, okay; that is fair game as well). Welcome to my country. If we don't kill you, furry brown creatures will force you to listen a single polka ad nausem. Please enjoy your stay.

posted by vesna @ 11:35 2 comments

Taking the Piss out of Myself

For the record, I would like to state the activities of my countrymen, as perceived by the ECHR. We are either hitmen in the Netherlands, or drunks who break into post offices, and then, once sober, are sent to mental institutions. Yeah, you heard me. Don't fuck around.
Incidentally, due to some language fun involving the eating of the clown and drunken rabbits, a German friend of mine informed me we get drunk first and only then become hitmen. It would seem this improves our aim.

posted by vesna @ 11:30 0 comments

Do I Look that Pleasant

I like to joke about nationalities--my own, as well as those of my friends. In other words, the teasing is reciprocal. However, every now and then one runs into one of these wretched souls who has a giant piece of cabbage occupying the space where his brain ought to be. Inevitably, these people are strangers to me, as I can't be bothered to waste my hot air on them.
A few days ago, unfortunately, I found myself sitting at the same table with one of these gems. My patience that day had been worn thin by two hours of E's and T's, a class whose main topic is death and whose professor seems to have partaken in said activity for nigh on 60 years. Having questioned his Polishness (he had already begun to dig his hole, claiming that his 50% Polish blood somehow conferred Polishness upon him; if that is the case, I might as well hold myself out to also be French, Hungarian and Mongolian), he decided that he had two options: to defend his heritage or disparage Poland. He chose the latter, awkwardly stumbling onto the topic of the national bird. Now mind you, this boy was an American, ie his national bird also happens to be a type of eagle. Nevertheless, he chose to call this national symbol a sickly chicken. Getting no response, he did admit that it was an eagle. I deigned to give him the proper name of the bird, only to be asked if what I had said wasn't a type of beer. Had it not been for a couple of my ECHR classmates, who had appeared at that moment as if on cue, there would have been blood. It just would not have done to have stumbled into a human rights class in bloodsoaked clothed. A faux pas, as it were.
Allow me to reiterate: I love making fun of peoples' nationalities. I believe that problems arise when people take their own nationalities seriously. However, I do not appreciate perfect strangers taking this liberty. I do not think its funny. And frankly, it matters little to me if you think you are being cute or not.

posted by vesna @ 11:07 0 comments

21.1.06

Presumptuous

American cafes and teahouses are different from their European counterparts. All too often, their patrons include those who value themselves too much, believing their ability to pay for steamed milk and espressos to be a sign of their divinity or some such nonsense. As I was patiently standing in line with a friend of mine in a none-too-commercialised cafe, I had the misfortune of meeting the most evolved of their breed. With his plump hand artificially wiping non-existent sweat from his beaten brow, this specimen, out of breath as he was, managed to pull forth the words, "do you have any more of that ty nant water? I just ran in to get some. It is the only thing I will drink. Have you tried it yet? It is even better than Fiji water".
Lest any of you be confused, I stress that I was not in a water bar. Before my eyes--dare I say it--I had a connoisseur of water. What can I say, save to tell you that tears came to my gentle eyes. Not that such salty liquid was of any consequence to him.

posted by vesna @ 21:39 2 comments

And So I'm Back

I am sure that you have all missed me dearly. I wish I could claim that I have spent my most recent months riding mad wildebeests throughout, say, Papua New Guinea or some equally unlikely place, but sadly no; 'twas not the case. In fact, I only managed to jump the pond twice (ie, a roundtrip flight), which resulted in a gathering of my family--that is to say, the two token men, and many opinionated women. Thank goodness the sixteen hundreds are behind us, as things might have gotten a little more heated than usual otherwise. Despite being white, it is truly remarkable how reassuring it was to return to a country where the people look (among other things, Slav facial structure is different), talk and more or less act like I do.

posted by vesna @ 20:50 0 comments

14.1.06

Suffixes and Sexism

Don't get me wrong. Much to my cousins' disgust, I am a feminist. However, there is a limit to everything. Recently, I was reading my E's and T's textbook, having been awoken by Pestilence at the ungodly hour of noon (frankly, I don't see Pestilence often enough to have told her to sod off). The authors informed me that the female Latin suffixes would not be used when referring to administrators or executors, meaning that at no point in the book would I see the terms "administratrix" or "executrix", let alone "creditrix" or "donatrix". It is the authors' contention that this is their contribution to combating sexism in the law. Indeed, they quote Bentham's oft spoken words, reminding us that the hardest errors to correct are those which find their root in language.
Personally, I do not see any sexism, inherent or otherwise, present in the usage of these Latin suffixes. Such a statement could only have been made by someone who has no knowledge of any language which utilises gender for all nouns. Every European language of which I have any working knowledge of, uses gender to differentiate between males and females. This is not because any judgment is being made on the person's skill, but rather it is merely a natural part of the language. This is no different from Polish assigning books the female gender, tables the male gender, while proclaiming beer to be neuter. I would think that the term "executrix" would imply the very opposite of what the authors suggest. Namely, I would think the use of the term would show an ever increasing rend of seeing women as capable of also being able to fulfill this role.
Then again, I shouldn't expect too much of these authors, as they surely do not expect to much of me. After all, they have found it necessary to inform me that dead people can't inherit because they would have no use for the property, the tossers.

posted by vesna @ 15:36 2 comments