28.2.06

Random Fact

The largest pancake ever made was 15m in diameter, and weighted 3 tonnes, with an estimated caloric value of 2 million. My question is how did they flip that thing?

posted by vesna @ 08:08 0 comments

Trading Spouses

This was from a reality tv show about trading spouses. Not getting into the larger issue that that show would require me to explore, why would a "spiritual warrior" agree to be on such a show, who would want to trade their spouse for her?
I think I may have to sleep with the lights on for the foreseeable future.

posted by vesna @ 00:31 1 comments

23.2.06

Note to Self: Reaffirm South Dakota's Place Among States I would have Removed From the Union

Granted, it hasn't been passed. Yet. However, it would have passed in 2004 if Gov. Rounds hadn't felt it would have resulted in an abortion free-for-all (because didn't you know gentlemen, abortions are what we ladies like to do on a Saturday night. In South Dakota. At the one and only Planned Parent Hood Clinic. In fact, there are so many of us there, chillin', relaxin' and actin' all cool, that we actually have to draw straws so as to determine which one of us will get to kill our fetuses. We then perform pagan, Satanist rituals and go to Starbucks.). This time the legislation was proposed by a Democrat. Yes, that's right. A DEMOCRAT. Last time I had checked, they weren't so concerned about what I was doing with my uterus (correctly, it makes for a nice storage area. I like to carry my books to class in this fashion, so as to ensure that my professors won't call on me.). Also, please notice that the very people proposing this legislation, legislation, which I might add, only allows abortion if the mother's life is in danger, refuse to but the ban to voters in the November elections. No, no. They would rather that this merely be between them and their newly found friends on the Supreme Court.
The Supreme Court is an issue I am still not fully able to talk about. It leaves me dumbfounded. Well, at least it was warmer during the Dark Ages. What, with burning all those witches at the stake, and such.
I also enjoyed reading that there is an anonymous donor standing by with 1 million usd for legal fees. Personally, I don't think he is remaining anonymous because he is ashamed of his actions. In fact, I would wager that not only has he bragged about it to his friends and family, but has already discussed it with his accountant, so as to ensure that he would be able to write it off against his taxes.

posted by vesna @ 07:23 0 comments

21.2.06

Excited Utterance Exception

I brought the leftover carrot cake I made to school today to share with my friends. While it seemed to be a hit with everyone, my favourite comment was: "Oh my god! You can cook?!" Why, yes. Yes, I can. Just because I don't do something [on a regular basis], doesn't mean I can't do it.
That said, having come home to find that I had to make shortcrust dough from scratch to make the quiche I promised the maternal unit, I can assure everyone that I have gotten the home ec bug out of my system. Mind you, I had also managed to make some stuffed peppers while I waited for the dough to chill. Apparently, I can only go two nights in a row in the kitchen before running into the arms of semi-instant foods. Woe is me, I think.

posted by vesna @ 01:02 0 comments

20.2.06

Alfred Hitchcock Presents

There is nothing quite like heading out to watch Audrey Hepburn with the gals. Especially when what greets you is a scene not unlike the ones bestowed upon us in The Birds. Mind you, there are no birds to be seen anywhere else in Our Fair City; the cold simply ruffles their feathers too much. And so, when we arrived just before dark, rendering the crows' silhouettes just perceivable, we were amazed to see any life in the trees whatsoever. Then, having slighted the beasts in some unforeseeable manner, they started circling the apartment building that was our destination, cawing loudly. Even indoors, every now and then, one could hear their call. But the most astonishing image bided us farewell when we left: the whole of two blocks, streets and cars alike, had been rendered completely white. Oh, yes. Unlike the stuffed birds on one of Hitchcock's claim to fame, these birds pooped, and were indeed masters of the art. Were I not afraid of being pelted myself, I would have taken a picture. Instead, I duly walked three blocks out of my way, so as to preserve my feces-free decor.

posted by vesna @ 09:27 1 comments

17.2.06

Deep Thoughts à la SNL

We all know the literary origins of Big Brother. This evening, however, I am troubled by the notion of Big Brother watching my every move. Despite your initial thoughts, I do not intend to discuss the methods any given state may use to spy on its own citizens. Rather, I am somewhat befuddled by the idea of an older sibling spying on a younger sibling. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't it the case that younger siblings generally spy on their older ones, much to everyone's regret?

posted by vesna @ 21:50 0 comments

15.2.06

Law School Isn't Day Care

I fail to understand how certain members of the student body have gall to bring their tykes into class. This isn't day care. Granted, there isn't a sign outside any of the classrooms which politely asks you to check your kids at the door. However, the grounds also lack a sign which asks you to solely relieve yourself in the restrooms, and there has yet to be a problem with following this unspoken rule.
I understand that on occasion finding someone to watch over the little one is simply impossible. My mother often had this problem when we first came to this country. However, she was always able to leave me in some room of the medical facilities or with a colleague of hers for the time period during which her classes were scheduled. She did this to ensure that I would not become a nuisance during class. Moreover, the ABA allows us lowly students to miss an allotted number of classes per course per semester. Hence, these parents could have just as easily taken their offspring to the conservatory, thereby imparting something of worth onto them.
Several times during tax, I became frightened that the VP might shoot me in the neck, as there were distinct, quail-like noises coming from the back of the room. That same "quail" made another special appearance during Conflicts. This is not to say, however, that this has been the only rodent to appear in the classrooms as of late (and yes, I realise that a quail is a bird, and not a rodent). For whatever reason, it seems to have become fashionable among the parents attending our law school to start their children's legal educations at an early age. Personally, I should think that having these individuals as parents would be scarring enough. Bringing them face to face with the American judicial system is just overkill.

posted by vesna @ 20:29 2 comments

14.2.06

Valentine's Day

Rather than leaving a comment in response to this posting, I decided that I would write a post of my own in response. Before I begin to talk about Valentine's Day, I should probably also mention that I don't like Mother's Day or Thanksgiving either (although neither of those two holidays bother me nearly as much as this one). This has nothing to do with my not having anyone to share this holiday with. Rather, my dislike for this Hallmark-created holiday has everything to do with its commercial nature and the accompanying openly-voiced complaints. I do not limit this statement to the Valentine's Day commercials mentioned on Pestilence's blog. In fact, those commercials don't bother me personally in the least, as I do not own a television (this, however, is not to say that I do not have a moral problem with them). No, no. That would be petty.
My source of irritation is something slightly different. What truly bothers me is that every Valentine's Day brings with it nothing more than a slew of complaints. Contrary to popular belief, these are made mostly by those people who are in relationships. The complaints can be generalised into two separate categories.
  1. The people in the first category complain about actually having to celebrate Valentine's Day because their partner wants to. It is not the cost that bothers them, but the actual holiday itself; they have qualms with the stress that comes with trying to make a single day perfect.
  2. Members of the second category, on the other hand, are put off by the sheer amount of money that they have had to spend on gifts or, in the alternative, having to come up with the "perfect" Valentine's Day gift.
It is the nagging of these two groups--nagging which has created the white noise of the day--that I have issues with. It would seem that simply celebrating spending time with one's lover no longer has anything to do with Valentine's Day.

posted by vesna @ 20:24 0 comments

12.2.06

State of the Union Address

Courtesy of T. A perfect decryption of the State of the Union Address.

posted by vesna @ 22:15 0 comments

Gets Me Every Time

Whenever I sit down to my E's and T's textbook, without fail, I come across some statement which makes me stop in my tracks. This is not necessarily because I disagree with what is being said. Rather, these statements often make me wonder if the authors didn't have a bit too much fun in piecing this masterpiece together. In this case, I was reading about mental capacity (which is not be confused with actual knowledge! because you might be mistaken as to whether one of your children is alive! zombies, the lot of them, I tell you!). In this context, I came across the following treasure: "nor must the testator be of average intelligence, as this would incapacitate almost half the population". Love it.

posted by vesna @ 17:17 0 comments

Don't Hassel the Hoff

I couldn't keep this from you any longer, internet. T and I have a new found love: David "I just got this feeling" Hasselhoff. That's right--the music video, brought to you by the man who starred in La Coche Fantastico with that hero of heros, "Kit", has forced upon our friends and family much ooga chaka induced embarrassment. Share in our merriment!

posted by vesna @ 15:33 0 comments

10.2.06

Overdeveloped Sense of Confidence

I went out for a bit of karaoke last night to, of all places, a Mexican "joint" (I am not quite sure how else one would describe this venue). To give you the proper flavour of the place, allow me to explain that there have been persons who have been arrested for dealing crack at this most clean of establishments--this on relatively ritzy street for Our Fair City. It was there that I realised that perhaps my lack of caring about the opinions of others had grown unhealthily out of hand. Fair enough, I made a big deal out of singing in front of my fellow students. However, having gotten up on stage, my heart refused to race; no adrenaline set in. Mind you, this is not because my voice fails to invoke sweet memories of the Sirens merely because Orpheus (or in this case the VJ) has drowned it out with the exquisite music of his lyre. Oh no, no. It fails in this respect all my its lonesome.
Perhaps I have become a monster without being a myth. Perhaps it is unfair. But perhaps I will look forward to the next karaoke night all the same.

posted by vesna @ 08:57 0 comments

9.2.06

Editing, at its Finest

Let's get this straight. The US Congress has been banned (on several occasions during the last six months, to boot) from editing information on Wikipedia because the Congressmen have had their staffers tweak their bios. Suddenly, Republican Congressmen have never claimed to have served, only to have had to recant their statements because they were blatantly false. And liberal Congressmen, in their youth, were not so much "liberal" as they were "activists". Good to know that these Congressmen are such good, forthright and upstanding folk. Role models for us all, to be sure.

posted by vesna @ 13:16 0 comments

6.2.06

American Nightclub Girls

Having crashed my professor's soiree, I continued on to a nightclub with some of my colleagues (the journey from point A to point B took considerably longer than it should have because we became quite lost on the infamous roads of Our Fair City; so long, in fact, that I permitted myself a cat nap). At the particular nightclub we went to, there were two scantily clad women dancing on tables with poles and one a swing. This in itself did not trouble me. What troubled me was that this nightclub obviously made a fair amount of money, and yet only seemed to have been able to hire "plump" go-go girls. My Taiwanese colleague was equally bewildered. It is not that there is anything wrong with being fat. It is just something that I never associated with such jobs.

posted by vesna @ 09:32 0 comments

Doubting Darwin

Nothing makes me doubt Darwin quite like the proof of devolution that the Superbowl brings forth. Masses of generally homophobic men and vapid women gather around their sets, enthralled by overly large men, who choose to wear spandex, spank each other and engage in a game which requires no skill. These men and women, quite drunk by this stage I assure you, then feel the need to drive on the black ice while honking their horns, despite a martial law like police presence. And people wonder why I prefer living in my own personal bubble. And I feel no hypocrisy in saying, I love the "other" football (soccer).

posted by vesna @ 09:19 0 comments

Why Every Now and Then, One Must Love the Security Counsel Unquestioningly

K sent me the following:
"The United States will be the president of the UN Security Council for the month of February. US ambassador John Bolton's attempt to start the meetings of the council just on time failed. The meeting starts at 10 AM and none of the 15 members showed up on time".
To read more, just click on the title posting. I would also like to see the US try to flex its oh so multilingual-friendly muscle by issuing the circulars in the six official UN languages.
While I really don't feel the need to comment on this, I feel compelled to say that the US should not try to mess with Eurasia at least in this one area: our expertise at using time consuming bureaucracy to stall through the bad times (in this case, the month of February) is second to none.

posted by vesna @ 09:05 0 comments

5.2.06

How Not to Help Your Cause

By this point every semi-informed individual has either seen or at least read a description of at least one of the highly offensive Danish cartoons. I hate to beat a dead horse, but the childish behaviour that this has given rise to has left me frustrated and conflicted enough to write a posting on the matter. Therefore, I will try my utmost to keep this short, even at the risk of explaining fully how I feel about this matter.
First of all, let's get one thing straight. Freedom of speech laws in Europe are more restrictive than they are in the US. There are just certain things that you cannot say. Many of them stem back to WWII. Hence, hate speech, especially anti-Semitic hate speech, is restrained. Therefore, the cartoon's very publication (as separate from what it depicts) in Denmark adds insult to injury. Frankly, this is behaviour one would expect more from right-wing American wacknuts.
Having said that, I also think that newspapers should be able to insult people and ideas. In all honestly, this is more or less their job--otherwise we would all be reading about how the grass grows. I think religion, like nationality, is an entity which should not be taken too seriously, lest it throw us into yet another series of wars for the glory of so-called creators, all of which (last I checked) preached loving one's fellow man. Perhaps as an atheist I don't understand what people derive from their religion which would drive them to such ends. However, I don't think this is the case. I think that people need to have their sensitivities prodded on a regular basis to keep people from taking themselves to seriously.
The problem that I have with the cartoon is not that it portrayed an image of the prophet, but rather that it was yet another example of mass-labelling which failed to reflect any characteristic shared by the majority of the Muslim world. A sizable portion of my friends happen to be Muslim. Generally, these people are among the most kind and gentle of my friends. They are also among the most knowledgeable when it comes to world affairs. As it were, the other people who fall into this category of my friends happen to be Norwegian. Oh, the irony. Perhaps I should mention here that the cartoon was only published by one, small Christian newspaper in Norway, which no one really reads. Why? Because Norway is not what one might refer to as a religious country.
I understand that there is outrage. However, I fail to see the profit in responding to a cartoon which suggests that all Muslims are terrorists by attacking embassies and burning flags. Perhaps a violent response is not the best way to show that the cartoon is not only offensive, but also a completely misleading stereotype. Just a thought.

posted by vesna @ 13:27 0 comments